What I wish existed when I was planning my wedding.

We got engaged in the spring. Two days later I had the wedding internet on my phone, and within a week I had a working theory: it is somehow worse than online dating, and it costs more.

Every search came back as a ranked list of the wedding vendors who'd paid the most to be at the top. Every one I emailed responded with a calendly link and a 24-hour deadline. The review counts were obviously gamed. The “personalized recommendations” recommended the same six venues to every wedding-to-be in the city. I started keeping a Google Doc because I didn't trust the saved-favorites feature on any of these sites to still be there next month.

to.be is the version I wanted. Same monthly rate for every wedding person, no boosted placements, no “featured” tier, so the order you see them in is based on what fits you, not their marketing budget. The format is a deck of cards. You swipe through photographers, venues, attire, beauty, and music, one category at a time, right to save, left to pass. You save the ones that look right. When you're ready to talk to someone, tap them in your Saves tab and the conversation opens right there, they reply by email. That's the whole product.

For the wedding vendors, the math is the same as it is for the wedding-to-be: simple. $39.99 a month, cancel anytime, no commission on bookings. You set your business up once, the right people find you, you keep what you charge.

We're building it slowly because the alternative, moving fast and accidentally turning into the thing we're trying to replace, would be embarrassing.