What I wish existed when I was planning my wedding.

We got engaged in the spring. Two days later I had the wedding internet on my phone, and within a week I had a working theory: it is somehow worse than online dating, and it costs more.

Every search came back as a ranked list of the vendors who'd paid the most to be at the top. Every vendor I emailed responded with a calendly link and a 24-hour deadline. The review counts were obviously gamed. The “personalized recommendations” recommended the same six venues to every couple in the city. I started keeping a Google Doc because I didn't trust the saved-favorites feature on any of these sites to still be there next month.

to.be is the version I wanted. One flat fee for every vendor — no boosted placements, no “featured” tier — so the order you see them in is based on what fits you, not their marketing budget. The format is a deck of cards. You swipe through photographers, then through venues, then through dresses, one category at a time. You save the ones that look right. When you're ready to talk to someone, you send them a short message and they reply by email. That's the whole product.

For vendors, the math is the same as it is for couples: simple. $39.99 a month, cancel anytime, no commission on bookings. You write your listing once, the right couples find you, you keep what you charge.

We're building it slowly because the alternative — moving fast and accidentally turning into the thing we're trying to replace — would be embarrassing.